The Positive Side of Envy

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We all know how badly it feels when we are envious of someone else. There are times when we want what someone else has or feel unhappy about the success of another. Sometimes these feelings are misinterpreted as feelings of hostility, anger or shame. To be clear, there are other triggers rather than just material […]

How To Understand and Manage Anxiety

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In my practice I see many people seeking treatment for anxiety-related issues. Our first few sessions are centered a round examining symptoms and contributing causes. Some report their anxiety stems from excessive and exaggerated worry about everyday life events such as health, career, family, and financial matters. Others say their anxiety is caused by believing […]

How Feeling Bad Can Be Good For You

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It’s only natural to want to avoid feeling negative emotions such as anger, depression, guilt, remorse or fear. As soon we become conscious of these feelings we immediately seek ways to extinguish them. Feeling unpleasant emotions is extremely uncomfortable and very difficult to tolerate. It is understandable that we would want to avoid them. But, in […]

Reader: Am I Having Unhealthy Guilt?

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Dear Dr. Durlofsky, I read your blog entry about the differences between healthy and unhealthy guilt today, and I would like to ask your opinion on something. I am a middle-aged married man. I recently confessed to my wife of 12 years my habit of visiting Internet cyber chat rooms and pornography sites. I also […]

When Having It All Is Not Enough

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We can all relate to experiencing anxiety stemming from the fear that what we have is not enough. We ask ourselves, “Do I have enough money, friends, education, a big enough house?” For some, this feeling is a reality. True, there are many who struggle to support themselves on a daily basis. But for others, […]

Navigating Through Healthy and Unhealthy Guilt

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We all have experienced feeling guilty about something we did, we said, or a decision we made. Guilt is a complicated emotion that has two sides: healthy and unhealthy. In general, guilt is an emotional warning sign that most of us develop early on in childhood development. Its purpose is to make us aware of […]

Can Too Much Social Media Cause Depression?

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Most of us are familiar with social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  It’s easy for us to get caught up in the social world, feeling instantly connected to people that we may not have spoken to in years. Hours of our time can be spent witnessing our friends’ family vacations, children’s momentous […]

6 Ways to Create (and Keep) New Year’s Resolutions in 2014

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The early Babylonians believed that what people did on the first day of the year affected what they did for the rest of that year. Many of us see the New Year as a perfect opportunity to start over or to change bad habits. According to several surveys, the most popular resolutions people make are […]

4 Steps To Making Smarter Life Decisions

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Did you ever think back on some of the important decisions you made in your life and wonder ‘What was I thinking?’ Bad decisions and actions could be a result of a failure to use emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence  (EQ) is essentially the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way. […]

It’s OK to be Angry: How to Avoid Repression and Aggression

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Anger is an emotion we are all familiar with. We have all felt it at times either as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. When we feel anger, we experience this feeling physically and emotionally. Physically, our bodies react with visceral responses such as increases in heart rate, rapid breathing, perspiration and our ancestral […]